"#7: Bibliography"

Bower, Tom. Oil: Money, Politics, and Power in the 21^st Century. NY: Grand Central Publishing, 2010.

Branden, Nathaniel. Taking Responsibility: Self Reliance and the Accountable Life. NY: Simon and Schuster, 1996.

Hamburger, Tom. Wallsten, Peter. One Party Country: The Republican Plan for Dominance in the 21^st Century.  New Jersey: John Wiley and Sons, Inc, 2006.

McChesney, Robert. Newman, Russell. Scott, Ben. The Future of Media: Resistance and Reform in the 21^st Century.NY: Seven Stories Press, 2005.

Pletka, Bob. Ed.D. Educating the Net Generation: How to Engage Students in the 21^st Century. Santa Monica, Ca, Santa Monica Press LLC, 2007.

Wehr, Kevin. DIY: The Search for Control and Self Reliance in the 21^st  Century. NY: Routledge, 2012.

"#6: President in Hiding"

Glenn Greenwald in one of his many articles takes a look at how the president of the United States, Barack Obama, has persecuted more people under the espionage act than all other presidents combined.  The presidents original stance back in 2008 was that whistleblowers in this nation are a thing of patriotism and should be protected because it can “sometimes save lives and save taxpayer dollars”.  Greenwald points out Barack’s flaws and his flip-flopping along with his killing spree of innocent people using drone strikes that has, in the last two weeks, killed three American citizens.  I’m sure if this gets out to the public in a more mass media fashion there could easily be calls for an impeachment trial regarding his lack of regard for our rights as American citizens.  One bad representation of Obama, such as this, could change the nature of the political game at this time, especially with it being election season.  Of course any president is going to want to hide the fact that they’re doing something illegal when it involves citizens of the United States and could make his lose his candidacy for presidency.  I am fairly certain that if one were to delve deep into the archives of American history, past what we learn in school, one would be amazed and in horror as to what they could find out about our nation.  The secrecy did not begin with and will not end with President Barack Obama unless the people rise up and quit being led around like sheep.  I do not see the American citizenry giving up its laid back and lackluster view on the world in which we live.  Being led like a sheep is what most citizens want, they don’t want to think for themselves, but they do want the ability to take of or be taken care of. 

If you want to read some of the claims, I have copied the link of the article.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/sep/05/obama-campaign-brags-about-whistleblower-persecutions

"#5: Occupy Language...Fail"

Occupy Language? This just sounds like a fancier term to replace the term political correctness.  What is the point of using a word to make sure people feel better about themselves because they are too weak in themselves to handle what is being said? Or not even that, but as an example Microsoft banned a user on their X-box because the guy lived in Fort Gay, West Virginia.  Their reasoning the removal of his usage rights was because the word “gay” is always offensive even though many towns have it in their name and many people have Gay as a name.  Several prominent sports players have the last name Gay and is their fault that this is their surname and part of their history? No.  Sometimes the political correct phrase could have a dual meaning and in the dual meaning that is where a lot of the context could be lost.  Originally gay used to mean happy but now it is derogatory because a group of people do not like how it is associated with them? Personally I have nothing against those who are gay/homosexual/queer, take your choice of word to describe someone’s sexual preference.

One of the many different definitions for queer: strange.  For example, a queer situation.  In this example there is nothing degrading towards people who are considered gay and it doesn’t even refer to a person.  As we try to limit the usage of words we limit our ability to depict and describe what we see happening around us.  In the moment if I use the word queer referring to a strange situation and there is someone around me who takes offense because they have been belittled by said word then maybe it is time for them to mature and look at the other various usages of the word.

#3: 21st Century De-Enlightenment

The Age of Enlightenment was a great and much needed growth in society when it occurred between 1650-1800 has it allowed for more free-form thinking and got us away from religious rule.  Before the Enlightenment most knowledge was universally accepted as truth if the church said it was true.  For example, if the Pope were to say the sun revolves around the earth, well that would have been accepted as true even though many scientists and mathematicians could prove otherwise.  We all know now that the earth revolves around the sun, but it wasn’t taken so lightly when it was first discussed.  If you disagreed with the Church you were considered an enemy of the Church and could therefore be punished or put to death.  Thankfully through the Enlightenment scientific reasoning and deductive logic made such an impact on the foundation on the rest of the world that it became vital to many countries, including our own as it shaped our Declaration of Independence.  Another idea that came from the Enlightenment was the need for education and not just for the wealthy but for all children of all societies.  At first there was discourse as people believed that many of the kids could not read and write and argued that we should not waste our time on them.   The free market of education won though and from the middle of the seventeenth to eighteenth century it began to take shape.  Before then though, there was no such educational system.  The system was to be paid for by taxes and since this was around the time of the industrial revolution socio-economic systems were vastly improved.  As the system as moved forward though, it has lagged behind and has been unable to keep up with the changes in technology.  Education has become boring while distractions outside of the classroom are more engaging to the minds of the people who see them.  This causes an epidemic of ADD in children today and they are given Ritalin, Adderall and other forms of ADHD medicine to help calm them down and keep them focused.  Sadly in my mind this has turned them into a zombie stuck a cage to be tortured with math and science all the while excluding the ability for them to be creative because the music and arts in most schools have or are being cancelled.  People do not realize or maybe seem to forget that music and arts help create better test scores, since that’s what our system seems to be solely focused on.  Hopefully one day we will wake up and see that our education system needs to be fixed again with this time, removing standardized testing.  Let creativity and free thinking flow from the minds of the children and watch what happens to society.

#4: A Polita-wha???

Politics are a very intrinsic part of today’s society but they also can lead to huge debates, name calling, fist throwing and even more inane acts of idiocy.  And this happens between “mature” adults who are supposed to run our country.  A part of me almost believes our country would be better run by infants, but of course we all know that to be a fallacy as they do not possess the cognitive thinking skills required to make decisions beneficial the nation as a whole.  In this I took a political compass test and even though I thought I was more centered it showed that I was left-libertarian.  While I am still debating over what this means for me has an individual I do know I am in good company as The Dali Lama and Ghandi are also left-libertarian.  That makes me feel good about where I stand, knowing that my “test” is almost the exact same as these two famous figures of world history. 

Originally growing up I considered myself republican and nowadays would consider myself more of an independent.  However with this test if may behoove me to take a closer look at my political foundation and delve deeper into its core.  I’ve always found politics to be a bore because they never seemed to affect me much, but as the years have passed that has definitely changed.  It is hard to care about our electoral system when in its setup it feels like one vote doesn’t matter. If the electoral college wasn’t involved and our president was elected by popular vote I know I would feel like my vote had more power.  This year could be one of the most important election years for our society in my lifetime.   

P.S. Mitt Romney and Barack Obama are almost the exact same on this political spectrum. Be weary of who you vote for.

#2: A Haunted Reality

A chanting that you can barely hear or understand occurs down a dim hallway with light from a TV escaping the room.  As you walk closer you begin to hear a rhythmic and repetitive chant: “they say, they say, they say” is what your mind takes in.  You turn and begin to run in terror trying to escape the voices, the ones who tell you what you should buy or should do or who you should be.  While you’re running the voices just get louder and louder, you turn to see that the TV that was once set on its stand in the room is now chasing you blaring advertisements in your face.  The horror has just begun as you realize that it’s not alone but accompanied by the very devices you thought you were safe from.  The phone that you so often use to play games or stay in touch with your friends has now become a collaborator, determined to brain wash you.  It has become an ally and enemy wrapped up in one nice, neat little package.  Not very threatening looking or suspicious because after all, it is what is kept closer to you than anything else.  Your next sight you see disturbs you to your core.  You see your laptop hopping a long with a mischievous dark glow.  It’s opened your favorite browser to the next gadget you want showing all these people having a great time and it seems to be hinting at: “you could be one of us” but only if you had what it shows.  You run, headed for the door to escape your nightmare and see it shining like the sun as it seems to offer hope of freedom. Grabbing the handle you twist it open and exit as hurriedly as you can and lock it behind you. Exhausted you place your back on the door and slide to the ground. A few moments go by and you realize that this, this isn’t right.  You open your eyes and there in front of you are even more advertisements targeting you directly, either via social media, billboards, politicians, movies, music, news channels or by clothing worn on a stranger.  Eventually though, you realize you have the strength to move and not be persuaded by what you want but by only what you need and your nightmare drifts away as you wake up.  You realize it was only a dream and breathe a sigh of relief. Or was it?

"#1: God vs Evolution"

In the beginning of Summary: Theory for Beginners the author goes into detail talking about evolution.  I have nothing against evolution or its theory but I do have a problem when someone, no matter how well educated begins to talk about evolution as fact.  Evolution is still considered a theory.  Evolution is as a theory as creation, but evolution is able to being scientifically tested whereas creation is taken as a "God-did" this and anything "God did" is untestable but taken as religious fact.  However as anyone ever really thought about the ability of the two theories to coexist?  What if God did create the beginnings of everything and from there guided nature into what we call evolution of species?  Is this theory improbable? Probably.  Doubtful? I say unlikely.  The chance of anything evolving from absolutely nothing has to be zero.  Even in the Large Hadron Collider where they are trying to create an explosion similar to the Big Bang Theory still has something that wasn't here previously, molecules of all shapes and size.  The smallest known particle or atom had to be created by something, something that can cause physical objects to come into existence. Whether a person believes in the Christian God or not, to understand that nothing is always equal to nothing is a simple test of logic. An outside force of some unknown power had to have a hand in the beginning of our world and our universe.  Even a simple mathematical formula can show this concept: Void*(0) = 0. When something is affected or multiplied by zero, it always equals zero. Now if we change the equation Void*(G) = unknown explanation that we collectively call our universe. The author also suggests that since we no longer have to hunt and/or plant for survival we have “evolved”.  The actual term for this change in our world is called adaptation.  We have adapted to our current advances that make life easier.

Tebow Time

If it weren't for the NBA lockout(tentatively resolved) and some other issues revolving around Penn State and Syracuse for sex allegations this could easily be the most controversial topic in sports. The unorthodox way in which this man, Tim Tebow wins, is surprising. Of course just this weekend has been full of surprises.-UK beating Tenn for first time in 26 years(with a wide receiver at QB) and UNC falling to UNLV.

In college as many know, Tebow was a spectacular quarterback. His size, speed, and athleticism made him tough to impossible to stop for most college defenses. He didn't have to be the most accurate passer in that offense but he was still able to lead his team to a national title using pitch and catch short field passes. Credit him for the victory then or for the coach having the foresight to see his weaknesses and create a game-plan that exploited the other teams weakness and showed his strengths?

With all the criticizing of Tebow going on for being an inaccurate passer, which I don't disagree, I will say, it's the coaches job to work with the players and improve on their weaknesses and create a game plan that works. Apparently it IS working. And I fully believe Tebow's success comes from his faith in God and Jesus and that He is lifting Tebow up. Keep it up!

Say what you will, but you cant argue with the fact that Tebow is 5-1 as a starter.

-A Tebow fan in the making.

"Occupy Movement" and House of Representatives

I remember reading post on Twitter months ago via Anonymous about "Occupy Wall St" and for the most part I agree with their stance against corporate greed, corrupt politics, a disproportionate dispersal of wealth.

Am I totally against capitalism? No. Economically it probably is one of the best practices, when working correctly. Now though, it is not working like it's supposed too. The wealth between the top 1% of the nation and the other 99% is roughly the same as it was during The Great Depression.

Forbes posted a story about the 147 companies that control everything that you can read here: http://www.forbes.com/sites/bruceupbin/2011/10/22/the-147-companies-that-control-everything/

There was also an infographic showing how much CEO's made per hour compared to their employee's per hour. This is going off memory and I dont expect you to believe me, I just cant seem to find it again but here's what I remember:

1970: CEO $45/hour Employee: $1/hour

Today: CEO +1200/hour Employee: $1/hour

National banks have screwed you over. They charge +18% interest while they only offer, maybe 1% interest on savings, charge you fee's to use YOUR money that YOU worked for. If you need to use a bank pull your money out of the national bank and put in a local credit union or local bank. They work for YOU, not the investors on Wall St that only want to take your money and send your jobs out of the country.

If a company decides to send a job out of the USA they should be penalized as it takes away jobs from hard working American's causing a failure in our economy.

I am supporter of the "Occupy Movement". I am a part of the 99%. Btw, all the people who say you aren't a part of the 99%, news flash, unless you have an adjusted gross income that puts in the top 1% of EARNERS, then you are. The 99% represents the rest of us who don't qualify for that stat. You may not agree with everything the 99% represents and that is okay. I believe they are trying to wake American's and the world up to what is really happening, hence why all of these offshoots are springing up throughout the WORLD.

Oh, and for the haters who want to say get up and get a job here's my response: I do have a job and I do go to school, full time. 20 hours at that this semester.

"House of Representatives"

If you know me, you know I have a a very strong distaste for politics which makes this thought process all the more illogical, or maybe logical. The thought process is of running for House. Campaign strategy? Use facebook/twitter/youtube completely to engage as I do not have the financial ability to travel and therefore would not use taxpayers money.

If you aren't sure where I stand, ask.

American politics are open to the American people, not just career politicians. Lets take back OUR government!!!

Again, this is purely theoretical right now, just throwing the thought out there. What do you think?

Unabated Wanting

There is this gnawing at me constantly, a want of mine that is as elusive as the Holy Grail. But why do I want this want? So the want does not remain undefined, I'll define it: too date someone or just go on 1 date. Seems silly, I know but I believe God gives us this desire to want to be in relationship with others. Sometimes though(quite often actually) I wish it wasn't one of mine. Alas, it is. Why do I want this?

This could actually be the worst time in my life to be in a relationship with someone. It would be nice to have someone to go to the movies with, or walk or share a ride with, these are things I enjoy doing and would love to bring someone along aside. But I couldn't see myself asking someone to make time for me when during this semester I would barely be able to make time for them. 20 credit hours in school, work 20+ hours a week, sleep, homework, social life.

Thankfully I am good at time management, hence why I have the time to write this blog that rambles on. Hopefully I will be able to keep my schedule straight, this could be interesting.

I wish I had a definitive answer about this unabated wanting of mine but I dont. It's a nagging that just wont go away. There are definitely moments when I enjoy being single but being single in my mind doesn't compare to being able to share moments with one you love.

Alright, my minds fried, time for bed. I should try writing sometime when I'm more coherent. Maybe the quality would be better :)

"Christians" vs "Followers of Jesus"

This will be a highly opinionated post. One that may or may not get the fire hot under your collar. This is your warning.

"Christians" are highly obnoxious and extremely hypocritical. Do this, do that, they say, when they dont do it themselves. Eye's are closed to the darkness of the world and they stay within their rituals and their safety nets. They look away when evil is right in front of them. They stay quiet when they should speak and speak when they should stay quiet. "Christians" drive me crazy. Ghandi said it best when he said: "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ". I definitely believe he was onto something, something deeper.

Unfortunately "Christians" don't like confrontation. They want to stay in their perfect little world and brush every little piece of conflict aside. They dislike being questioned about their actions and will find a way to twist any and every piece of scripture to pardon their behavior. Not all "Christians" are this way, but unfortunately there are too many.

Then there are "Followers of Jesus". These are the people who willingly go into dark territories. The sex industry slave trade, gangs and inner cities, persons of other religions, and continuously break the law to spread the news of Jesus Christ and what he did EVERYONE. They face persecution day in and day out, not knowing what tomorrow will hold for them.

Are "Followers of Jesus" perfect? Short answer: No, they are not. They know this though and do not expect perfection from others. Everyday God gives them is another day to get to know their Lord and Savior on a more personal level and BECOME more Christ-like. No one on this side of Heaven will be "perfect" as our flesh is easily tempted. Followers beg for experiences to draw them closer to God and will willingly go where He leads them. Sometimes it's into the darkest places imaginable or even worse(martyr) or better depending on ones perspective of the situation.

As for confrontation again its not enjoyed but they actually confront. Proverbs 27:17(NIV) says: "As iron sharpens iron so one person sharpens another." This allows for character building to occur and a true brother/sister-hood of Christ to be formed.

What are your thoughts on the 2 groups? Agree/disagree? Let me know. I want to hear what you have to say!

Stolen idea.

I've had a rough couple of weeks. First my pseudo grandmother passed away and this past Sunday a friend of mine was killed in a car wreck. You can find a story and interview I did here. Instead of talking about this though, I am going to share with you some of the things I love...and in no particular order :-)

This idea was stolen from this blog

Electrical Engineering: I went back to school and have been in an EET program for just over a year now. After I graduate with my associates I will continue my education in pursuit of a Bachelors in EE. I love the challenges it provides and the ability one can have to create something from a collection of components.

Basketball: This one is pretty obvious as I have an individual blog for this.
Lego: As a kid I grew up with these. I would spend hours a day playing and building. I've recently got back into them as they have gotten better with their set designs and even make some more complex building sets. You can also build robots with the mindstorms set. I haven't purchased one yet but one to soon.

Volleyball: Another sport in this post, I like being active, once I can finally get the energy to crawl out of bed. I didn't play volleyball all that much until I moved to Lexington. I started hanging out with a group of people that played. I've now been playing for 4 years and love it.

iPhone: I am addicted to this electronic device! I use it as my alarm, GPS, communication, entertainment, web, and games. No matter where I go I cant seem to get rid of it.

Jusqu'à notre prochaine rencontre

-Ryan

Man after God's own heart?...not so much

David throughout the bible is the only man ever given this title: "A man after God's own heart". He was far from perfect. He committed adultery and murder, and I'm sure a lot more acts that were displeasing in God's eyes. I am quite rusty on my biblical history but know the jest of the stories. Moving on, God had compassion and love for David when he finally admitted to his sins. Yes, he had the consequences to deal with, but God stayed with him the entire time and helped David endure. The good news is, David became one of the greatest rulers of all time.

On to my life. A few years ago I remember having a chat with a few friends and wanting to be called "A man after God's own heart". To the best of my reasoning, not for any selfish gains, however maybe a prideful one. Today though and for the past year or so, this desire/goal is no longer anywhere in my mind or heart. The hurt and betrayal I've felt from "Christians" has left a sour taste in my mouth. I've seen some and heard some of what happens when "friends" leave one church and join another or stop church altogether.

Just because someone has left the church you attend or has stopped going to church completely doesn't make them any less of a follower of Jesus. What Jesus is doing in their life could and probably is completely different than what he is doing in your life. I don't believe God wants to make carbon copies of people. I fully believe He is into individuality.

I haven't been to a service in awhile. One reason is because of my work schedule, gotta love retail. The other is, I'm pretty sure I know how the message is going to go every week. Personally, monotony drives me CRAZY! I know this is good for some people and honestly, I'm glad for you.

Also, I dont believe in zombie-ism(zombie-ocalypse, yes). What I mean is, I don't believe you should shut your mind off and blindly follow what someone else says. I do believe in listening to advice, but just because something worked for one person doesn't mean it will work for you. Again, I believe God is in to individuality and wants us to be that way. I'm not against gatherings or fellowships as I believe it is a good way to mold and strengthen each other. Iron sharpens iron, but if iron is never laid to iron, it becomes dull.

I believe it's good for us as believers to challenge. It doesn't mean disrespect someone who is older and maybe wiser(wisdom can gathered at any age), but challenge their way of thinking just as they(hopefully) challenge yours.

If this irks you, good.

Weekend thoughts

So Im just a little bit late for this to be considered weekend thoughts, but hey, it's been a little bit hectic.

This past Friday was my last Friday night at Target. I'm still working there, albeit not on that night. I will instead be spending my time at Modern Mercantile enjoying the sounds of live music, the taste of wine(maybe-not a huge wine fan) and the company of old and new friends. I enjoy the relaxing atmosphere that is here. Ever since I moved from Ashland to Lexington I've been looking to a place somewhat similar to Katies Corner. There are others around Lex but this is by far my favorite place. And I may be biased, but hey, it's a unique yet similar setting. Unique in that it is also a treasure shop/bistro/wine shop. Katie's corner was just a little cafe that eventually put a bar in...and last I heard is now removing it?

Also on Friday a friend of mine let me drive his motorcycle around strip that Modern Mercantile is located in. Mine was finally repossessed and it was a bittersweet moment. Though I've known for awhile the next bike I get will be a cruiser or sorts, after driving my friends Harley it confirmed that desire. I just wish I knew when I'd get one because even though its only been about a week, I already miss my 2 wheels. A big thanks to Sam for letting me ride. It's an addiction.

And the last thing for Friday night was I went and played volleyball at Marrika's. I've been burned out on this for awhile but when you get on a winning streak it changes that pretty quickly. Thankfully the team I was on was a really good team as every player but me plays in a league. That may change for the fall, if I can get a team together or someone ask's me to play on their team *hint, hint* ;)

That's all for Friday, now onto Saturday. Friday night/Saturday morning I got home from Marrika's around 2, went to sleep at 3am and had to be at work at 930. Morning's and I dont get along. Im not a fan. If the mornings came later, I wouldn't have any problems with them. I was glad to not close for a change on a Saturday though. I ended up cancelling going swing dancing with a friend to go hangout with other friends. Douche-ness? Yes. However, it turned out well as others didnt want to go anyway. Douche-ness avoided...this time.

As for how Saturday evening was spent, it was spent over at a friends house watching TV and youtube video's, specifically this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TywmpMQYojs A trip to Wal-Mart was also in-store. Its not a successful night without at least one trip to wally world.

Sunday was another early morning at Tarje but all was well. I even got to leave 30 minutes early which made me super happy...and hungry. All day I tried to avoid taking a nap, but around 730 I caved in and slept for 3 hours. It was quite sad to me as I was unable to go play basketball that night. But I did get to play volleyball for a little under 2 hours.

Summer is starting to die down and yet Im about to have a trip to Holiday World. First time there since a kid. I will FINALLY get to ride the new(to me) rollercoasters!

Enough for this blog. 1 more to come, possibly.

Mortality

Today I attended my first funeral in 6 years. In the years before this 6 year drought, I went to my mom's funeral, my uncle's, and my grandfathers. My uncle and grandfather were within a month of each other. I missed my grandmothers funeral, who passed away four months prior to my mom's passing. This happened when I was between 18-19 years old.

During these experiences, as painful as they were, I grew up a lot. To see the bodies of loved ones lifeless is a surreal experience. However, I do have a somewhat sick sense of humor. Today, while at the visitation for my "pseudo grandmother" I was thinking how fantastic and terrifying it would be if she were to be a zombie . . . and start the "Zombie-ocalpyse".

So back to today. While looking at the body of Dawn, a once vibrant, active, human-being who is now lifeless brought the thought of my own mortality. I've been lucky in my own life as I have survived multiple motorcycles wrecks. The worst one being 60mph and I was able to walk away. That accident is always in my memory. But the side effect its had on me is quite an interesting one.

My own mortality. I know I break, I scar, I bleed but because of that accident, I don't believe I'm mortal. I know in my head I am, I know eventually I will die but until that time, I plan to enjoy life to the fullest. Today is the first day of the rest of my life . . . and yours. How will you spend it?

First Love

Do you remember your first "Love"? What was his/her name? Maybe it was your first crush on someone in school...mine was in 4th grade but thats not who or what Im talking about here. There's something magical about an attraction at such a young and innocent age. Nothing came from it Maybe it was later, in middle school...and you start to notice the opposite sex even more so. Gotta love hormones. Or maybe high school...and all of the drama associated then.

My first TRUE love would be the game of basketball. I had played as a kid. I wasn't great but the game fascinated me. The skills, the techniques, the endurance and brothers and sisters you make along the way. Just an FYI, I never played for a school after 5th grade but during high school, many said I should've tried out...way to shy then. I did play in a church league for 2 years and this past year I played Intramural for BCTC. Our team didn't do good, at all. But I did have fun.

The past two months I haven't played at all...until Sunday night. I forgot how much I had missed it. I, personally, had a great 2 out of 3 games, but left undefeated(pride win!). I was exhausted after it was over, but in a good way. It felt so good to be back with my first love and back to my "home". I have been playing volleyball almost every day for the past month and was getting burned out on it.

Im hoping I wont have another 2 month hiatus from my love. What's your first love?

Eye opening realization

Today was one of those smacks in the face. Everything finally makes sense and unfortunately it's in a negative way.

Like one, why do people say they dont have the time when they really do? All I've been trying to get from several "friends" is about an hour of their time for the past several weeks to catch up and hangout ~ go get a drink somewhere. It would've been nice if they would've just said no, instead now, I feel like I've become a pest for wanting to keep them to their word. I should just give up on trying but unfortunately that's not me. Certain things I do give up on and I'm guessing people are something I should. I've been hurt too much by them, so why continue putting myself in that situation? Definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. Yep, Im effed . . .

Number two, and what was really the smack in the face tonight: No matter what I do, who I'm with or where I go I dont fit in. However, let me modify that a little. The places I feel at home, the most comfortable, is when Im either on a basketball court or a volleyball court. It's on this stage I feel at home. And after the games are over? It's back to the same.

Maybe I should just be a wanderer. I enjoy traveling and I'd never have to worry about staying somewhere long enough to hope I'd fit in. Even though, I know deep inside of me, I want to. I want to find "Somewhere I Belong"(Linkin Park reference).

Meh, I just dont know right now. Some things have been good, but that empty feeling, that feeling that no one cares or no one notices, it nags at the back of my mind.

USA vs Japan

I'm not a huge soccer fan but during the last two world cups(men's and women's) I've become a little bit more of a fan each time. When I was kid I played soccer for about 6 years for the YMCA league in Ashland. Never really did understand the game then other than if the ball goes in the net, it counts as a point. For a year I played goalie and played really well, the next...I was terrible at that position.

Today's world cup final pitted the USA vs Japan. Both very prideful countries and both fighting to prove something. Today it went to Japan. After the devastation Japan has faced this year, I'm glad for them. It gives the country some hope and something to cheer. It kind of reminds me of New Orleans and the Saints after Hurricane Katrina. Honestly, if they wouldn't have been playing the US I would've been cheering for them and I tip my hat off to them. They played well, with heart, with desire and can now bring some semblance of hope to country that has had just about anything but.

I cant even begin to fathom how our women's team feels in this moment. To be so close, traverse a road less traveled and still be a competitor, seems so surreal. I hate it for them that they lost, but no one can deny what they've done or how the American spirit resides in all of them. Though I'm sure none of the women on the team will ever read this I have this to say: Hold your head high. You DID write your own story. Too overcome the defeat to Sweden and to overcome the red card against Brazil? You are amazing! You showed the world the heart of America and you did it in a beautiful fashion.

And the game today was absolutely beautiful. For the majority of the game no cards were given. Eventually Japan got a yellow card and a red card. Every time a player went down, on either team, the opposing team checked to make sure they were okay. Thank you to both teams for showing sportsmanship even when a world cup is at hand. I hope that other teams in every sport take a lesson from the class act that was displayed on a world stage today.

XangaMyspaceFacebook . . . Google+?

There have been many social media sites and for me it started with Xanga but my first online social experience was IRC(Internet Relay Chat). The question is, why do we move from one website to another? Whatever the reason(s) may be, the inventors of these sites thrive on it. Without their insight into the human psyche and the “enough is never enough” attitude we have, we would all be on the same website we started with.

It’s hard for me to understand moving from one website to another when they all allow the same thing to occur. Myspace for awhile was the holy grail of social media then facebook snagged it. My guess is because at first it didn’t have ads and myspace was overrun with them. Xanga was a simple website that allowed you to post more of a blog than any status update, pic or video. Apparently, it is now a blogging community. I cant remember my username or password has it has been years since I’ve signed in there.

As for Google+, right now, I'm not a fan. I'm not finding it as user friendly as facebook. Yes the page is less crowded but as it grows I fully believe ads will start popping up. It’s a business and it takes money, so money has to come from somewhere right? And to keep people, its best to not charge a user fee so only other option, ads.

Maybe in time, Google+ will grow on me or as more and more people shift over there from facebook, I will shift as well.

Other Sites

Twitter: I’ve recently become a more avid user of this service as it allows for a quick 140 character snapshot of my thoughts. I believe its key draw is the ease of being able to send a text message to its number and its ability to link with facebook. Picture sharing is easy also however it does require a 3^rd party source

Tumblr: Never used it, I actually forgot it existed. After reading its “about” page it seem very similar to facebook with a different name and different layout.

Read at own risk.

Why do I try? It seems like such an easy task at hand but apparently society or something I'm completely missing has made this a much more complicated task than it really is. I'm a firm believer in “ignorance isn’t bliss” and I do everything I can to avoid making assumptions, especially of friends. However when certain situations arise that I’ve had arise many times over my life, it’s hard to separate my experiences from what I see happening.

I really hope and pray to God I’m wrong, but honestly, I haven’t been wrong yet in this regard. First time for everything right? I hope so. I actually pray that I’m wrong.

Of course, if that prayer is answered, would I actually realize it or be so blinded by my pride that I miss the answer? I mean, there are definitely obvious actions I could take, but are those risks right? What if they’re not? How much would/could I lose? Too much in my mind.

P.S. Women, if a guy asks you out and you don’t want to go, just say “no”. If you put the stipulation of “I don’t have the time” or any stipulation for that matter; almost every guy knows or should know that that is an automatic “No”. If he is respectful of you, he will take your answer at full value. Gray answers aren’t good either. As a guy, when it comes to this, be direct. A “yes” or “no” is a very simple answer and dependent on the answer, not waste your time or ours. We’ve taken a risk by showing our cards when we ask you on a date, please don’t brush that off as nothing as for many, it is an extremely scary risk.

And breathe…venting is over. Maybe a technology blog next time, something less intense or thought provoking. Well, I hope this is thought provoking in some regards.