Unabated Wanting

There is this gnawing at me constantly, a want of mine that is as elusive as the Holy Grail. But why do I want this want? So the want does not remain undefined, I'll define it: too date someone or just go on 1 date. Seems silly, I know but I believe God gives us this desire to want to be in relationship with others. Sometimes though(quite often actually) I wish it wasn't one of mine. Alas, it is. Why do I want this?

This could actually be the worst time in my life to be in a relationship with someone. It would be nice to have someone to go to the movies with, or walk or share a ride with, these are things I enjoy doing and would love to bring someone along aside. But I couldn't see myself asking someone to make time for me when during this semester I would barely be able to make time for them. 20 credit hours in school, work 20+ hours a week, sleep, homework, social life.

Thankfully I am good at time management, hence why I have the time to write this blog that rambles on. Hopefully I will be able to keep my schedule straight, this could be interesting.

I wish I had a definitive answer about this unabated wanting of mine but I dont. It's a nagging that just wont go away. There are definitely moments when I enjoy being single but being single in my mind doesn't compare to being able to share moments with one you love.

Alright, my minds fried, time for bed. I should try writing sometime when I'm more coherent. Maybe the quality would be better :)

"Christians" vs "Followers of Jesus"

This will be a highly opinionated post. One that may or may not get the fire hot under your collar. This is your warning.

"Christians" are highly obnoxious and extremely hypocritical. Do this, do that, they say, when they dont do it themselves. Eye's are closed to the darkness of the world and they stay within their rituals and their safety nets. They look away when evil is right in front of them. They stay quiet when they should speak and speak when they should stay quiet. "Christians" drive me crazy. Ghandi said it best when he said: "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ". I definitely believe he was onto something, something deeper.

Unfortunately "Christians" don't like confrontation. They want to stay in their perfect little world and brush every little piece of conflict aside. They dislike being questioned about their actions and will find a way to twist any and every piece of scripture to pardon their behavior. Not all "Christians" are this way, but unfortunately there are too many.

Then there are "Followers of Jesus". These are the people who willingly go into dark territories. The sex industry slave trade, gangs and inner cities, persons of other religions, and continuously break the law to spread the news of Jesus Christ and what he did EVERYONE. They face persecution day in and day out, not knowing what tomorrow will hold for them.

Are "Followers of Jesus" perfect? Short answer: No, they are not. They know this though and do not expect perfection from others. Everyday God gives them is another day to get to know their Lord and Savior on a more personal level and BECOME more Christ-like. No one on this side of Heaven will be "perfect" as our flesh is easily tempted. Followers beg for experiences to draw them closer to God and will willingly go where He leads them. Sometimes it's into the darkest places imaginable or even worse(martyr) or better depending on ones perspective of the situation.

As for confrontation again its not enjoyed but they actually confront. Proverbs 27:17(NIV) says: "As iron sharpens iron so one person sharpens another." This allows for character building to occur and a true brother/sister-hood of Christ to be formed.

What are your thoughts on the 2 groups? Agree/disagree? Let me know. I want to hear what you have to say!

Stolen idea.

I've had a rough couple of weeks. First my pseudo grandmother passed away and this past Sunday a friend of mine was killed in a car wreck. You can find a story and interview I did here. Instead of talking about this though, I am going to share with you some of the things I love...and in no particular order :-)

This idea was stolen from this blog

Electrical Engineering: I went back to school and have been in an EET program for just over a year now. After I graduate with my associates I will continue my education in pursuit of a Bachelors in EE. I love the challenges it provides and the ability one can have to create something from a collection of components.

Basketball: This one is pretty obvious as I have an individual blog for this.
Lego: As a kid I grew up with these. I would spend hours a day playing and building. I've recently got back into them as they have gotten better with their set designs and even make some more complex building sets. You can also build robots with the mindstorms set. I haven't purchased one yet but one to soon.

Volleyball: Another sport in this post, I like being active, once I can finally get the energy to crawl out of bed. I didn't play volleyball all that much until I moved to Lexington. I started hanging out with a group of people that played. I've now been playing for 4 years and love it.

iPhone: I am addicted to this electronic device! I use it as my alarm, GPS, communication, entertainment, web, and games. No matter where I go I cant seem to get rid of it.

Jusqu'à notre prochaine rencontre

-Ryan

Man after God's own heart?...not so much

David throughout the bible is the only man ever given this title: "A man after God's own heart". He was far from perfect. He committed adultery and murder, and I'm sure a lot more acts that were displeasing in God's eyes. I am quite rusty on my biblical history but know the jest of the stories. Moving on, God had compassion and love for David when he finally admitted to his sins. Yes, he had the consequences to deal with, but God stayed with him the entire time and helped David endure. The good news is, David became one of the greatest rulers of all time.

On to my life. A few years ago I remember having a chat with a few friends and wanting to be called "A man after God's own heart". To the best of my reasoning, not for any selfish gains, however maybe a prideful one. Today though and for the past year or so, this desire/goal is no longer anywhere in my mind or heart. The hurt and betrayal I've felt from "Christians" has left a sour taste in my mouth. I've seen some and heard some of what happens when "friends" leave one church and join another or stop church altogether.

Just because someone has left the church you attend or has stopped going to church completely doesn't make them any less of a follower of Jesus. What Jesus is doing in their life could and probably is completely different than what he is doing in your life. I don't believe God wants to make carbon copies of people. I fully believe He is into individuality.

I haven't been to a service in awhile. One reason is because of my work schedule, gotta love retail. The other is, I'm pretty sure I know how the message is going to go every week. Personally, monotony drives me CRAZY! I know this is good for some people and honestly, I'm glad for you.

Also, I dont believe in zombie-ism(zombie-ocalypse, yes). What I mean is, I don't believe you should shut your mind off and blindly follow what someone else says. I do believe in listening to advice, but just because something worked for one person doesn't mean it will work for you. Again, I believe God is in to individuality and wants us to be that way. I'm not against gatherings or fellowships as I believe it is a good way to mold and strengthen each other. Iron sharpens iron, but if iron is never laid to iron, it becomes dull.

I believe it's good for us as believers to challenge. It doesn't mean disrespect someone who is older and maybe wiser(wisdom can gathered at any age), but challenge their way of thinking just as they(hopefully) challenge yours.

If this irks you, good.

Weekend thoughts

So Im just a little bit late for this to be considered weekend thoughts, but hey, it's been a little bit hectic.

This past Friday was my last Friday night at Target. I'm still working there, albeit not on that night. I will instead be spending my time at Modern Mercantile enjoying the sounds of live music, the taste of wine(maybe-not a huge wine fan) and the company of old and new friends. I enjoy the relaxing atmosphere that is here. Ever since I moved from Ashland to Lexington I've been looking to a place somewhat similar to Katies Corner. There are others around Lex but this is by far my favorite place. And I may be biased, but hey, it's a unique yet similar setting. Unique in that it is also a treasure shop/bistro/wine shop. Katie's corner was just a little cafe that eventually put a bar in...and last I heard is now removing it?

Also on Friday a friend of mine let me drive his motorcycle around strip that Modern Mercantile is located in. Mine was finally repossessed and it was a bittersweet moment. Though I've known for awhile the next bike I get will be a cruiser or sorts, after driving my friends Harley it confirmed that desire. I just wish I knew when I'd get one because even though its only been about a week, I already miss my 2 wheels. A big thanks to Sam for letting me ride. It's an addiction.

And the last thing for Friday night was I went and played volleyball at Marrika's. I've been burned out on this for awhile but when you get on a winning streak it changes that pretty quickly. Thankfully the team I was on was a really good team as every player but me plays in a league. That may change for the fall, if I can get a team together or someone ask's me to play on their team *hint, hint* ;)

That's all for Friday, now onto Saturday. Friday night/Saturday morning I got home from Marrika's around 2, went to sleep at 3am and had to be at work at 930. Morning's and I dont get along. Im not a fan. If the mornings came later, I wouldn't have any problems with them. I was glad to not close for a change on a Saturday though. I ended up cancelling going swing dancing with a friend to go hangout with other friends. Douche-ness? Yes. However, it turned out well as others didnt want to go anyway. Douche-ness avoided...this time.

As for how Saturday evening was spent, it was spent over at a friends house watching TV and youtube video's, specifically this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TywmpMQYojs A trip to Wal-Mart was also in-store. Its not a successful night without at least one trip to wally world.

Sunday was another early morning at Tarje but all was well. I even got to leave 30 minutes early which made me super happy...and hungry. All day I tried to avoid taking a nap, but around 730 I caved in and slept for 3 hours. It was quite sad to me as I was unable to go play basketball that night. But I did get to play volleyball for a little under 2 hours.

Summer is starting to die down and yet Im about to have a trip to Holiday World. First time there since a kid. I will FINALLY get to ride the new(to me) rollercoasters!

Enough for this blog. 1 more to come, possibly.