Like one, why do people say they dont have the time when they really do? All I've been trying to get from several "friends" is about an hour of their time for the past several weeks to catch up and hangout ~ go get a drink somewhere. It would've been nice if they would've just said no, instead now, I feel like I've become a pest for wanting to keep them to their word. I should just give up on trying but unfortunately that's not me. Certain things I do give up on and I'm guessing people are something I should. I've been hurt too much by them, so why continue putting myself in that situation? Definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. Yep, Im effed . . .
Number two, and what was really the smack in the face tonight: No matter what I do, who I'm with or where I go I dont fit in. However, let me modify that a little. The places I feel at home, the most comfortable, is when Im either on a basketball court or a volleyball court. It's on this stage I feel at home. And after the games are over? It's back to the same.
Maybe I should just be a wanderer. I enjoy traveling and I'd never have to worry about staying somewhere long enough to hope I'd fit in. Even though, I know deep inside of me, I want to. I want to find "Somewhere I Belong"(Linkin Park reference).
Meh, I just dont know right now. Some things have been good, but that empty feeling, that feeling that no one cares or no one notices, it nags at the back of my mind.
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