Three simple words that will change your entire perspective on the way you look at yourself. "I love you." These words, to me, do not mean what they actually mean. Instead I have placed these words in a negative context. When someone says "I love you" to me I almost immediately leave the conversation mentally. And I know the people who have said those words to me, recently, meant it in its intended context. However, my perception and understanding has been distorted....severely. When I think of those words, I think of hate, anger, aggression, pain, anguish, and anything else that would not be connected with the word love. So very rarely will I personally use those words so it doesn't become an automatic response. It at one point in time in my life, which was not to long ago, was. I also used those words to keep myself out of trouble though eventually that was caught on to.
My response now is usually an "Ok....thats odd" or a confused look which goes back to previous post of having a hard time accepting it, and sometimes actually completely disbelieving it. Now I know full well, I would give my life without second thought for any of my friends, but I wouldn't call it love. I would call it care. There are a few friends of mine, that I feel safe to say that I love them but because of my perception I dont always see that as a good thing. A lot of times I see that as me hurting someone.
Those three simple words are the most powerful words I know of. If you know of any more powerful I would be glad to know. The one that may come close to rivaling that is "I hate you". And at times, those words could far surpass the power of the other three. It really depends on how you take those words. The old saying "Stick and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me" is sooooo far from the truth. In reality, yes, words shouldn't hurt but OH can they be devastating. Depending on what words are said, who they're said by, and in what tone of voice can really deepen the cut. When we find ourselves in situations like that, it really seems and we totally believe that a shot to the foot would be less painful.
1 Corinthians 13 gives a description of what love is. Called the love chapter for obvious reasons. Now my favorite verse is actually Romans 12:2 which says: Do no conform any longer to the patterns of this world but instead be transformed by the renewing of your mind. So personally I believe I have been fairly consistent on the first part of that verse. If not, call me out on it. Its kind of how I base my life. The 2nd part, however, is something that has been popping up recently. Be transformed by the renewing of your mind? I'm thinking, crap, I'm screwed! My mind is so caught up in the one way direction that it was going, that having to do a 180 and think completely opposite is like me trying to do a triple axle. Right now impossible. Not a figure skater, but with the right training I could probably get there. Just like with the right training my mind will begin to work in the way it was intended to be. Kind of like walking backwards and wondering why your head was getting hit with every step.
More later, if I remember. I need sleep. blah
No comments:
Post a Comment